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The difference between a numerator and a denominator is a short line. Only a fraction of people will understand this During my calculus test, I had to sit between identical twins. It was hard to differentiate between them. One-liners are the most versatile tool in the dad-joke toolbox, because the teller doesn't have to wait for any setup. Just drop these into a conversation whenever there's a dull moment. If you’ve ever had a father (or currently are one), you don’t need me to explain a Dad Joke. To paraphrase US Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart when expounding on how to identify pornography in 1964, you’ll know it when you see it.
I heard Sony’s coming out with a new console during the pandemic...It’s called the Plaguestation 5. Oceans like making waves. 13. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? “Supplies!” People are surprised that I have a Police record, but I love “Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic.” I like to spend my weekends playing chess with elderly men in the park. But it’s becoming more difficult. You try finding exactly32 old guys. I tried to explain to my 4-year-old son that it’s perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants. But he’s still making fun of me.
With a little more time — and skill — these question-and-answer jokes require more audience interaction, but get a bigger payoff. They're good for car rides, waiting rooms, restaurants and any other place where audiences can't just walk away. When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. Turns out, identity theft is a crime. My wife left a note on the fridge that said, “This isn't working.” I’m not sure what she’s talking about. I opened the fridge door and it’s working fine!
Why'd the alternate universe Spider-Man do so well on his driving test? He's an excellent parallel Parker. My daughter just shrieked at me, “Daaaaaad, you haven’t listened to a word I’ve said, have you?” What an odd way to begin a conversation. If you're feeling depressed, try drinking a gallon of water before you go to sleep. It'll give you a reason to get out of bed in the morning. Just look at that couple down the road,” a wife told her husband. “He keeps holding her hand, kissing her, holding the door for her. Why can’t you do that?” “Are you insane?” he responded. “I barely know the woman!” They like trendy rap music to get in their wrapping groove. 16. What do you call a beehive without an exit? Unbelievable.A doctor walks into a room with a dying patient and tells him, “I’m sorry, but you only have ten left.” The patient asks him, “Ten what, Doc? Hours? Days? Weeks?” The doctor calmly looks at him and says, “Nine.” This year’s Fibonacci convention is going to be really special. Apparently it’s as big as the last two put together.
Today I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the residents if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door on my face. My parents are the worst.
Add a bit of cheesiness and spice to your conversations with these cheesy dad jokes! 1. My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.
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