ART OF SHIBARI SEX BONDAGE FOR BEGINNERS: Everything about the Japanese sex bondage, kinbuki or shibari

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Marika Leila Roux, co-founder and creative director of Shibari Study, who offer Shibari classes, says "Shibari is a way of communicating through rope and that makes it magical. It’s not just about memorising certain patterns or knots; instead, shibari allows you to use things like how you handle your rope and different ways of using speed, tension and tempo to create different sensations and even emotions for your partner (or yourself)." She says that using rope in a way that’s playful, sensual, tender and a little challenging can help us examine our needs, desires and intentions as well as those of our partners. How do I get started with Shibari? The preferred material of rope is jute because it’s a strong natural fiber, but hemp and cotton will work too. Ultimately, Shibari is about consensually tying each other up for fun and sexual pleasure. "It shouldn’t be intimidating or aggravating," she says.

In reality, the BDSM community centres play of any kind around consent, respect and communication. And that’s especially true with Shibari. What is Shibari? Shibari or Shibaru are forms of the Japanese word to tie, according to Midori. Similarly, Kinbaku essentially means "really tight bondage" and can be used interchangeably. "It is childhood joyous play with adult sexual privilege and cool toys," she adds.A major misconception about Shibari, and other forms of bondage, is that it's painful. That's just not true, according to Richardson. "In general, it doesn't hurt, it might be a little uncomfortable," she says. The idea that you'll get bruises or any types of injuries from Shibari? Also "100 percent not true." What kind of mood or feelings do we want to have while we play (rough, tender, naughty, cared for, etc.)? All BDSM practices require high levels of trust and communication, but for shibari, there’s sometimes a more intimate and emotionally binding (pun intended) component to it. “The sensation of being tied up is not the sensation of being ‘trapped’ but rather lends itself to the idea of completely letting go of the physical bounds and allowing for that deep, emotional catharsis to take place,” says Levi. There will always be some sort of risk when playing with ropes,” Marika notes, “but as long as you do your research and communicate clearly with your partners, you should be able to mitigate these risks and create a fun and enriching experience. Take the time to establish and update your own personal risk profile — an evaluation of an individual’s willingness and ability to take risks and what they are comfortable with and be transparent with whoever you are tying with," she adds.

Perhaps they like being restricted. Some like the control of binding someone else, others enjoy the intense emotional connection. Some folks like the tactile sensation of the soft (or rough) rope against their skin. It can feel like a comforting, tight hug, Midori explains. It can also be a great addition to dominance and submission fantasy play. For some, “It can heighten sexual sensations and orgasms because of body position changes and muscle contractions,” Midori adds.Shibari isn’t something you can jump into head first without doing some required reading, learning and pre-sex communication first. It does literally involve rope after all, so safety is an important consideration. Shibari literally translates to “to tie” or “to bind,” adds Sydona: “It refers to intricate and beautiful knots and patterns used to restrain and give sensation to the body.” What's the history of Shibari? But today, Japan, Shibari is enjoyed by consenting adults in their private sex lives, as well as stage performances in kink-themed bars, and of course in porn. And it’s catching on in the West too, with kink and fetish clubs in the United Kingdom and mainland Europe embracing Shibari in play. It’s even got a thriving TikTok community. Why are people into Shibari? I went to my local peer rope group and it blew my mind – a whole room full of people who liked the same thing that I did. The more recent term ‘ bunny’ for someone receiving rope, is problematic because it comes with gendered assumptions, says Midori. All genders can top or bottom, and switch between the roles whenever they like. (Worth noting: Too Hot To Handle did show the men and women taking on both roles.) However, you can self-tie, or Shibari without a partner and tie the ropes on yourself.