Fingers in the Sparkle Jar: A Memoir

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I am.’ He replied quietly, ‘I’m the enemy, my enemy. And I’m chasing myself and when I finally catch me I’m going to kill me.’ There’s lots of Chris’s unhappy school times, unhappy home times, and happier times out with nature. There’s the discovery of punk. There’s the relationship with a Kestrel. The author is not only an author, naturalist and nature photographer, but also a television presenter. Narrating his own book was thus a given. He is a talented speaker and nobody but him could possibly have read the lines with such perfection. He is best known for the children's nature series The Real Wild Show ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Rea...) of the late 80s and has presented the BBC nature series Springwatch ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Springw...) from 2009. I recommend listening to the audiobook rather than reading the paper book. You get an added dimension. You hear through his intonations what the author saw through his eyes and felt in his heart. This is a great book for both children and adults. It's not even just written in the third person, much of it is from the imagined point of view of the people around the author. Did he have that level of insight into the life of the guy who drives the ice cream van? No, it's a stupid device to make boring non-events into tortuously long passages where nothing happens other than several things are overly described, and then ignored forever. Unlike any memoir I've read; written as if it were at the same time a novel and a journal, it clearly was a deep source of catharsis. A profoundly exposing and emotional journey into Chris's childhood, detailing his obsession with wildlife and the growing distance he felt to other people, but concentrating on one summer that he shared with a beautiful Kestrel, a summer that would have a deep impact on his life. It is telling of his character that this book is so meticulously and beautifully honed, the language carefully considered and precisely arranged, as though it were a rare eggshell cosseted in cotton wool in a display cabinet.

Fingers in the Sparkle Jar by Chris Packham | Waterstones Fingers in the Sparkle Jar by Chris Packham | Waterstones

Summary: A young boy is viewed as an outsider by his neighbours, but finds solace in his love of the natural world. It’s brave because it is a self-portrait of a rather weird kid – not good with people and not a bundle of laughs, it seems. A kid who was fascinated by wildlife. This slightly weird kid grew up to be a slightly weird, and troubled, adult, and the honesty of the book is what makes it very powerful. Who edited this book? Do they speak English and read other books? It's a stupid and facetious question, clearly nobody edited this book, it's a rank and steamy mess of adjectives and adverbs with no substance. Well, that's not true, there's some small substance there in the story of how the author (I think it was the author, I'm not certain) stole a baby kestrel from its nest and took it home to keep. That wasn't really the substance I was looking for though, on the face of it that's pretty horrific and the airy fairy waffle surrounding it doesn't exactly put it in any kind of context to alleviate the sense of a dirty sort of PETA-baiting larceny. The book veers away from the style of the traditional celebrity autobiography by telling the story from a number of perspectives. Sometimes the story is told in the straightforward, first-person style that would be expected. At other times, we see the boy through the eyes of others: a neighbour, a teacher, a farmer, or a pet shop owner. Thus we begin to build a picture of the personality of the boy and how he is viewed by those around him. Interestingly, some chapters revisit the same events through different perspectives; we see it through the eyes of an outsider and then get Chris' version of events. His writing is poetic, lyrical and beautiful, even when writing about commonplace events such as an encounter with the local ice-cream man. The flip side of the tortured anguish is Chris's passionate love of wildlife of every kind and, when younger, of dinosaurs about which he knew every fact there was to know. His fascination leads him to eat toad larvae to see if their molecules would sharpen his vision; to cycle off on night wildlife adventures; and become obsessed with otters. His greatest love was his rescued kestrel which was, as Chris writes so beautifully, 'something shiney I had caught with my heart' and which he tended and trained with meticulous care and devotion.This is not a misery memoir full of self-pity: his descriptions and adventures into the world of nature soar as high as his love for his kestrel. His emotional pain is tangible, he is unable to cope, and so he begins to ‘separate’ from a world he perceives as confusing, unintelligible, and untrustworthy: Chris continues to remember his difficult childhood, discovers the taste of tadpoles and encounters some bullies. The biggest surprise was the honesty with which a champion of nature preservation admits to collecting rare birds eggs, snaring foxes, and taking a young falcon from the nest as a pet. There are also harrowing accounts of the bullying Chris suffered at school - without understanding the reason. At one point he asks his therapist, 'How could anyone be happy as a child?' These italicised passages reveal the troubled, even suicidal legacy of a childhood living with undiagnosed illness. As an adult, Chris was diagnosed with Asperger syndrome, which may explain his social awkwardness as a child and intense obsession with nature; an obsession that he managed to forge into a successful career. When other children were playing together in the street, young Chris was out collecting bugs in jars, birds eggs, wings, pellets and other specimens for his curious collection. He was also fascinated by dinosaurs and amassed an incredible amount of knowledge about his favourite subject.

Fingers in the Sparkle Jar - Penguin Books UK

The writing is atrocious. There are compound words galore, often made up by the author. That's not always a bad thing, with a deft touch it's something that can add a lot to a book. It's not adding anything here though other than moments of unintentional hilarity. I was reading some of the book out loud so I wasn't the only one suffering, and it took me several minutes to get through the first sentence of one early chapter, because it began with the word "Upfalling" and I couldn't stop laughing. Don't be fooled into thinking that this is a sweet story about a boy's idyllic childhood exploring nature, though. Much of the material is hard hitting and raw. Encounters with nature are often described with brutal honesty and can be graphic and upsetting. In one story, that weaves its way through the book, teenage Chris steals a baby kestrel from its nest, setting off a chain of events that scars him mentally and causes him to contemplate suicide. Chris decides that animals are easier to trust than people. He makes a nocturnal escape through his bedroom window, finds treasure up a tree and falls in love.It is 1966 and a young boy is standing at an ice-cream van, to buy the cheapest lolly and show the ice-cream man his wildlife jars. “What do you say to a weird kid with dinosaurs in jam jars who never speaks, who only ever points, who buys your cheapest ice-lollies and seems to think that bartering with various bugs is a viable currency for exchange?” This is the very beginning of a book that I found completely absorbing and very difficult to put down. I am giving this five stars, even though I did feel that at the two thirds point it dragged a bit. It has beautiful lines, draws the reader in, reveals so much about the author’s inner self and those with Asperger Syndrome and finally has fascinating information about many, many animals. From snakes and tadpoles and dinosaurs to otters and mice and tons about birds! I highly recommend this book. It is a work of art. This illuminating book contains a great deal of insight into Asperger’s syndrome and is definitely worth reading.

Fingers in the Sparkle Jar Quotes by Chris Packham - Goodreads Fingers in the Sparkle Jar Quotes by Chris Packham - Goodreads

Every minute was magical, every single thing it did was fascinating and everything it didn't do was equally wondrous, and to be sat there with a kestrel, a real live kestrel, my own real live kestrel on my wrist! I felt like I'd climbed through a hole in heaven's fence. In his rich, lyrical and emotionally exposing memoir, Chris brings to life his childhood in the 70s, from his bedroom bursting with fox skulls, birds’ eggs and sweaty jam jars, to his feral adventures. But pervading his story is the search for freedom, meaning and acceptance in a world that didn’t understand him. Every minute was magical, every single thing it did was fascinating and everything it didn't do was equally wondrous, and to be sat there, with a Kestrel, a real live Kestrel, my own real live Kestrel on my wrist! I felt like I'd climbed through a hole in heaven's fence.Bookbag also enjoyed A Sting in the Tale by Dave Goulson which will appeal to anyone with a passion for wildlife. I don’t want to tell you too much about the book, as you should read it yourself. I’ll just say again – brave and powerful. And very well written.