How To Eat To Live, Not to Die: Simple Scientific Approach To Foods that Prevent and Reverse Disease for Longer Life

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You say you can’t be bothered showering or changing your clothes if you don’t want anyone near you. But I suppose the time to start washing is when YOU feel fed up with being grubby. Are there any ways of washing (maybe having a bath instead of a shower, for a change?) that you might enjoy, or that would help you feel more relaxed? I like deep baths, but don’t want to waste water, so I scrub myself with a flannel at the washbasin most days, and have a long soak followed by a shower once a week. I have been working since I was 15 1/2 years old and even then I carry three jobs subway Rikers 3M and a place called three ring circus and accessory store I’ve always always worked and paid my own way this is the first time in my entire life that I have I’m in a hole I cannot pay the rent and a building we’ve lived in since 1994 after the Northridge quake I don’t know what to do I don’t have the energy to get up only when I have to work these two shifts I should already have gotten a second job and third job I just don’t it’s different this time I’m in therapy I’m on medication it’s just different I’m tired of struggling I’m so tired I don’t have it in me anymore and all I’ve ever wanted was to be an amazing mom and put my daughter to be proud of me which she is but now how could anybody be proud of what I’ve become in the last two months over two months I don’t even clean the house anymore dishes piled up in kitchen it’s never looked like this I’ve never not been able to pay rent and pay my bills I am tired of being here. I made a huge mistake many years ago when I divorced my husband. I was too young to understand that marriages have hills and valleys. I wish I were that strong my mother passed March 2019 of dementia and Alzheimer’s I loved my mother very much but the verbal abuse never stopped the physical abuse stopped when I was 27 when I told her I’d had enough and she would never strike me again I’ve always been bigger than her taller I’m 511 she never hit me again after that but she never stopped with her mouth and when I would cry and ask her why I’m your daughter why why would you wanna hurt me this way and I would be crying and she would look up at me and go where where where cry little baby you little crybaby I never understood I broke my heart my heart is still broken I’ve had depression for many years and mostly do well. The problem is my partner. I am in a gay relationship and my husband, while most of the time is great, turns into a monster when he gets angry. He can’t seem to stop himself long enough to calm down. It turns into days of him making me feel bad, threatens to leave, blames it all on me. Once he’s through, he cry’s and tells me how much he loves me and doesn’t want to leave. I know this is not healthy for him or me. But, we do love each other. I can’t imagine not being with him, but at this point can’t imagine how we can continue to do this. We have been you for 28 years.

I’m sorry to hear how hard your life sounds. You say your family don’t respect you, but the important thing is that you respect both them and yourself, and that you decide what to do with that. It sounds as though you do care about your wife and children, otherwise you’d have left them (I don’t mean ‘left’ as in ‘killed yourself’ necessarily, but just as in ‘walked out’). You say you are grieving the loss of your daughters and husband, but I don’t know the precise situation: whether your husband has walked out on you, or is dead, or whether you’re still living in the same house as him but in a loveless marriage. But if your husband has left you (whether by death or divorce), it sounds as though you’re better off without him. It sounds as though you were working hard at trying to make the marriage work, if you stayed with him for so long, but maybe now it’s time to focus on being kind to yourself. I wish God would hurry up. My children don’t need me. They are grown; have families. They don’t like my husband; I rarely see my children because they find my husband so offensive. Life is nothing without my children.The windows that open for most people don’t lead to blessings, but often to deeper loss and pain. Many of us have been searching our entire lives for that window of blessings, and we never find it and it certainly never finds us. Thankfully,he’s healthy with an active social life/hobbies. I have a younger sibling,happily married with his own family,recently celebratingthe arrival of his first G-baby (my Niece) and soon my Nephew’s wedding. My Dad, does help me, I love him and am so grateful for him and his love and support. . …. I have few (married) friends that have either moved out of state or just very busy with their own families. Church?? There’s all types of social activities for Couples,Families,Children,Youth,Young Adult,Moms,Mens,Women’s (again majority are married& grannies with kids), And finally there are the various Support and Recovery groups. But there’s absolutely NOTHING available for the older (Baby Boomer-never married) Singles!!!

Dear Frosty, as an Asian American I completely understand your double trauma. One being the potential covid demise, the other is the deep seated racism that raised its head again during this pandemic. Like you, I also have experienced much systemic differential treatment throughout my life. This is absolutely wrong, especially in the Christian countries. We are all equal in the God/Divine, if we believe that our existence is not random, even if there were to be a Big Bang, how did this come about? Sure, we cannot be 100% sure. Yet how these beautiful trees, flowers, birds, fish and animals being put together with such precision? I am not divorced. Though my husband left me. He didn’t want to go. But he had no choice. He tried so hard to stay, but I had to give him permission to go, for his own sake. His suffering was so great. Hardest thing I ever did. Felt his heart flutter, when his soul flew away as if on the wings of a tiny bird, to be with the angels. You come to realize that that time of rest and peace isn’t ever going to be your reality. You never had the ability to prevail and never will. With age and the decline in health you have reached the point that whatever hope you held onto is absolutely gone and all that is left is an ever increasingly pathetic fight for survival and the loss of the last remnants dignity you might still possess. You evidently believe in God, and I wonder whether you are a member of a church, synagogue or temple. If so, are there any groups running there that you might want to go to as well as worship services, or any way in which you can contribute (such as putting out hymn books, making refreshments after the service, or whatever)?

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It’s sad that there is no intimacy between you and your wife, and I wonder how that makes her feel. Have you asked her how she feels about your relationship, or told her how you feel? Do you have opportunities when you can talk in private, while the children are out? Could you write her a letter explaining how you feel, if she doesn’t give you a chance to explain it in person? I don’t want to be the sort of person who always recommends getting professional help (I’m not a therapist, just someone who has been in therapy on and off for several years), but if you are having difficulty communicating, and if your wife agrees that there is a problem, could you try getting some sort of couples counselling? Stacey, you wrote, “You also might want to see a doctor to make sure there’s no physical condition, like depression… that’s triggering thoughts of death.”Can you provide your readers any citations to biomedical publications providing hard evidence of a causal relationship between neuropathology or another medically identifiable biomedical state and depression? It seems to me that the hypothesis is being promoted that suicidal ideation is caused by aberrant physiology which can be medically identified and reliably treated. I want to make sure I’m not misreading you. So, what happened? I’m happy to tell you, but I’m not sure it matters. For me it was a powerful, personal confession to the Divine. But I think that there are as many ways to take a step, just one little step, away from our wounds and pains as there are ways to acquire them in the first place. The world will always be better with you here.”…is that true? Would you even notice if we were gone? Truly, would you? I know why it all stays by ideation, and by half-hearted secret “attempts”. Choosing a bridge, choosing and trying a knot, searching for the best angle for my pistol, all that. Dozens of times.

Therapy is bullcrap. All they want to do CBT. I’m cognitive of the way I feel and why I feel it. But that doesn’t make it get any better! It just reminds me of how worthless I am. There’s a part of you that wants to live. It is the stronger part of you. There is SOMETHING MORE for you but you don’t yet know what it is. But it is real.. It is waiting for you to find it. And of course you list many other losses and disappointments, as well as destructive self-talk and shame. Please, get help. You don’t actually need to redeem yourself, but even if you did, you can do more good alive than dead. Before my own Father’s death in 2011 we talked at length about his ‘reasons’ for doing things.. I saw that he considered his own life a failure except for us kids.. and I saw that he was mentally ill.. I forgave him and a great weight was lifted from my heart.. he actually lived to be 89 despite weighing near 300 lbs at 5’8″ and having diabetes.. he never took care of his blood sugar which hovered near 180 at all times and sometimes put him in the hospital..My best friend died 6 months ago while I was holding him. His heart stopped, and in the split second between his last heartbeat and stillness, I instinctively understood what irreversible means. I felt this rush of feelings, so fast, all yelling: nonono, make it stop, this is too real, too much. But I get the impression that doing well at work isn’t enough to make you feel fulfilled and worthwhile. In the same way, having daily interactions with colleagues and/or clients (I don’t know what sort of work you do) isn’t the same as having friends you can talk to about personal feelings. But I know it hurts from the inside, deep down there where our words can’t reach. And I just wish it would stop. I wish I’d never been born. So unfair to have no say in being born. And now no easy way to die peacefully and ‘safely’ Suicidality – that is, suicidal thoughts or behavior – exists on a spectrum. At one end are people who wish they weren’t alive anymore but also don’t think of suicide. At the other end of the spectrum are people with extremely high intent to end their life now, or maybe they’ve even just made a suicide attempt.

For many years now, since I was a teenager, I look out the window and feel I don’t want to be here. I don’t like being a human, and I’m not very fond of human things. Sometimes I go to sleep and, like many of you, I wish it’d be for good. I’m almost 67 years old and I grew up in such a bad environment!,I left home at 15 years old because I wanted sheets on my bed and not have to share with bedbugs!! No food in my belly! Going to school with wet clothes on! My mother left when I was nine leaving 10. Children behind! I don’t blame her! Never seen or heard from her since!!!! Don’t blame her ! I blame my so called father! Who treated her like s—t he came from Pakistan and sent all his money there! And now from out of the blue! One of my brothers who I haven’t seen in over 50 years has reported me to the police for apparently having abusing him!! I’m impressed that you are doing well at work (I speak as someone who has given up on numerous jobs because of stress and depression, and who has been unemployed for five years). You obviously have enough self-control to be able to put your own mental turmoil on hold for long enough to concentrate on the needs of clients (I used to try to do this, but occasionally my anguish and self-loathing broke through and made me behave erratically, and as I was a care worker, this could be very alarming for the patients I looked after). I hope this may bring you some comfort. I am nothing, a no-one but it doesn’t stop me from caring or reaching our with such similar thoughts.

I’ve been at the same job for over 35 years and I can’t talk to my family or friends about how I feel. They just ignore me and walk away or think it’s a joke when I say I would like to be dead. (Maybe not those exact words). I guess I’m looking for words of encouragement to get through the day, but get none. I feel like the biggest failure. I feel like I’m always making the wrong decisions. My wife tells me I have to make more money to take care of her father. I believe it’s the responsibility of her brothers and sisters, but she makes me feel bad about it and doesn’t seem to care about what I think. I’ve been called stupid and uncaring. I try to hide my emotions because I know no one cares about how I feel and if I was gone tomorrow a couple of people would cry for a few days then forget about me. So why am I still here. Please Lord take me home. I HATE her. She has an everything life, while I struggle on so many levels every single day. But I don’t show any of that to her anymore and she certainly doesn’t know how I feel about her. Part of my considering suicide is that at least I wouldn’t be carrying the weight of this around all the time First: it’ll hurt those who care for me and I gave up being selfish when I met my wife, had children, stopped all drinking/drugs (1986).. I am waiting until end of March 2024 before I go. I have set it up with everything taken care of – my will my stuff and everything connected to me will be finalised and bills paid out and services cancelled.