Naked Babies

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While some parents may choose to start covering up when that happens — especially when the child in question isn’t the same sex as you — you can also use this as a teaching moment and defuse the situation with a matter-of-fact, anatomically correct comment. For your baby (especially after the dark coziness of the womb) the world is a wild place. She must learn about her body and how to function amidst different lights, sounds, smells, tastes, temperatures, and textures. As adults, we move through this stimulating world barely noticing these things (unless of course we’re at Disney World). In short, we are sensitized. If you’re very clear what the boundaries are, then that child has no question whatsoever,” she explains, adding that kids don’t have the cognitive ability to understand nuance. “It is never OK to see an adult man naked — that is clear for that child.” Nudity between parents and children is fine as long as both are fully comfortable,” says parent coach Dawn Huebner, PhD, author of the self-help book for kids “What to Do When You Worry Too Much.”

Huebner says the issue is mainly about children starting to view genitals as explicitly sexual organs. You might get questions about the “fur” down there or why certain body parts are “floppy.” It will likely take you off-guard and make you blush. I’ve been very open with my daughter, and it helped open the door for questions she might have about her developing body,” says Sue from Massachusetts. Casual nudity may be fine and good when your little ones are little, but at some point, you might notice a difference in their comfort level — and yours. It led to some interesting discussions, but she also didn’t freak out when she started growing pubic hair because she knew it was normal.” Con: Boundaries can get blurredThen, as kids get older, boundaries aren’t always their forte. Says mom-of-two Brigette, “They keep barging into the bathroom, so why not?” Con: You’re going to get awkward comments, questions, and stares While Bartell believes it’s always OK for children to be naked around their same-sex parents, she says a different dynamic eventually develops with mothers/sons and fathers/daughters. Pro: You can teach the difference between nudity and sexuality Even physically modest parents can destigmatize nudity by not rushing to cover up if their child inadvertently sees them,” says Huebner. “Instead, calmly say something along the lines of ‘I prefer to be alone when I am using the bathroom’ or ‘I’ll talk to you when I am dressed,’ without making a big deal out of the encounter.” I think it’s important for her to learn ASAP that there is never a reason for an adult man to not have clothes on around her,” she says. “We just don’t feel like there can be any exceptions.” Regardless, it boils down to this: Listen to your kids, even when they’re not explicitly verbalizing something.

Moms of boys can also want to pave the way for a new generation of men who see women as real people, not pinups on a pedestal. Similarly, somewhere between ages 4 and 8, most children begin to develop a sense of modesty about their own bodies and a corresponding discomfort with seeing their parents’ naked bodies.” Bartell suggests simply wearing underwear when in front of your kids, or even getting the message across by wearing a bathing suit without a big T-shirt over it: “Then your child can still see you’re embracing your body.” Even the most private of private parts serve a biological function and shouldn’t come with feelings of shame attached to them. This can particularly help as children hit puberty.On the flip side, you also need to respect your children when they no longer want to be naked in front of you. Research shows that clothing, like too-tight pants, can restrict babies’ movement. Choosing development-friendly garb is one way to ensure that your little one has a full range of motion. Going without clothes altogether takes this to the next level, removing all clothing-related restrictions. What’s Better, Diaper On or Off? Babyhood is primetime for sensory integration, especially when it comes to the skin. Letting a baby discover her body and environment through her bare skin is a great way to support this learning. Movement After all, if you have a baby or toddler, it’s next to impossible to go to the bathroom or take a shower alone… unless you enjoy endless screaming or worrying whether they’re going to hurt themselves (or destroy the house).

There are a number of reasons you might want to be naked in front of your kids — and an equal number of reasons you might choose a modicum of modesty. The bottom line: There isn’t a one-size-fits-all answer to parental nudity, but whatever you decide will involve some degree of boundary setting.It’s a surprisingly controversial question that parents often don’t realize is even controversial until they talk to other parents who do things differently. Both sides have generally given it a lot of thought, theorizing about what’s psychologically helpful and harmful. When kids are very young, the consensus seems to be yes, since babies and toddlers are generally oblivious to nudity. Jonathan, a New Jersey dad who never treated nudity as a big deal in his house so it became “natural,” followed this maxim — and his daughters’ lead. Both Huebner and Bartell agree that you need to start paying attention to this issue as early as age 5 but that it’s generally a good idea to set some boundaries by 10, at the latest.