Daring To Take Up Space

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Children who have not been traumatized by a narcissistic parent or abusive sibling innately know how to take up space without fear and shame. Most children innately know how to claim their birthright to their physical and emotional freedom. They cry when they want to and laugh when they want to. Classic attachment research in psychology has famously shown that when a securely attached child enters a room, they are not afraid to go around and explore. They are happy to have a space where they can be spontaneous and playful, and they will explore new territory without fear of reprisal or shame. The story is different, however, for those who have been wounded in their upbringing. Castro, D. M., Jones, R. A., & Mirsalimi, H. (2004). Parentification and the impostor phenomenon: An empirical investigation. The American Journal of Family Therapy, 32(3), 205-216.

Daydreaming, however awesome it is, is passive. It happens in your head. Learning to make dreams real is another matter, and I think it should be the work of your life. Everyone’s life, whatever their dream (unless their dream is to be an axe murderer or something.) There is no such thing as a child who hates to read; there are only children who have not found the right book.” The unfortunate, often painful, truth about life is that you can try your best at something and still not succeed. You are allowed to take up space. Own who you are and what you want for yourself. Stop downplaying the things you care about, the hopes you have. Own your passions, your thoughts, your perceptions. Own your fire. Stop putting your worth in the hands of others; stop letting them decide your value. Own saying no, saying yes. Own your mood, your feelings. Own your plans, your path, your success.”

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Once, this had been the life I’d wanted. Even chosen. Now, though, I couldn’t believe that there had been a time when this kind of monotony and silence, this most narrow of existences, had been preferable. Then again, once, I’d never known anything else.”

PDF is the most common eBook file format and it gives you lots of options to customize the reading experience. You can set the PDF file size, color, or highlight the important text. On the other hand, ePub is also an impressive eBook reader that has its own benefits and advantages. Apart, from this, we also upload eBooks in Mobi or djvu formats. These are also popular eBook formats and many users like them. You can request us if you need a book in specific eBook formats. Details about Daring To Take Up Space by Daniell Koepke One reason parents silence gifted children is to protect their siblings. This can happen in various ways but often includes the idea that the gifted child must not stand out or be arrogant. As a result, the gifted child is not allowed to participate in more challenging work or activities, not praised for their accomplishments, or even hidden from other family members. Wells, M., & Jones, R. (2000). Childhood parentification and shame-proneness: A preliminary study. American Journal of Family Therapy, 28(1), 19-27.

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You may think this sounds overly ”transactional,” but in truth, all relationships are transactional in that they involve an exchange. In a romantic relationship, for example, each partner may provide the other emotional support, companionship, or more concrete things like money and sex. of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars Daring To Take Up Space by Daniell Koepke When we speak of space, we usually refer to the physical territory occupied by an individual or group. But space is not only physical; it can also be psychological, emotional and relational. Psychological space is the “real estate” we use to express our thoughts and feelings. Taking up space is essential to our well-being and can be used to protect us from intrusion and boundary violations. In a relational field, we might take up space by drawing attention to ourselves and being the centre of attention, talking about ourselves in conversations, using our posture to exude confidence, looking others in the eye, expressing a strong emotion, expressing a strong opinion, etc. When someone takes up space, they assert their presence and confidence, honing their voice and protecting themselves from intrusions from others.