Official Essex Girl Joke Book

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If you can visualise the map of Great Britain as a wild-haired angry monster shouting at Ireland, then Essex rests above its rectum, the Thames Estuary. If you were to draw a diagonal line from the south-west of the county to the north-east, it would measure 55 miles in length, although the creeks and inlets on its eastern side make the Essex coastline at least 400 miles. The Essex shore is home to more than 40 islands – although no one can quite agree on exactly how many – with grimly exotic names such as Lower Horse, Cindery and Foulness. another essex girl is involved in a serious crash, theres blood everywhere. the paramedics arrive and drag the girl out of the car till shes lying flat out on the floor. Left your fake tan on a bit too long and looking less 'sun-kissed' and more Ompa Loomper? "It's fine, I'm from Essex, it's just what we do." Got the words generally and genuinely middled up? "I'm from Essex, what do you expect?" Jerry O'Connell hilariously reveals wife RebeccaRomijn 'complains' about his snoring - after Linda Evangelista ruled out dating Jen Shah is helping Theranos fraudster Elizabeth Holmes tone her abs in federal prison - as RHOSC star has been dubbed 'Jen Fonda' while serving time

And there's nothing funnier than the complete confusion of someone not from Essex hearing 'OI OI SAVELOY' for the first time. 8) Epic lows of living with an Essex accent. What's the difference between Gorbachev and an Essex girl ? Gorby knows the names of the eight people that f***ed him ! What's the difference between an Essex girl and a limousine ? Not everyone has been in a limousine. Sydney Sweeney looks unrecognisable with brunette hair while filming the upcoming survival thriller Eden in Australia

6) "No, I haven't been to Sugar Hut"

Kate Winslet enjoys a rare public outing with son Joe, 19, in NYC... and he's the spitting image of his director dad Sam Mendes The key sign that someone had a big night out in Chelmsford is that Judge Tindal's statue has a cone in it's head. You will find the statue in Tindal Square and it was erected to honor the 19th century household name, but nowadays it is more often vandalised than shown apriciaton.

At the wake in Kensington, to cheer everyone up, Heffer told the story about the bloke on the train. One of the attendees, the Sunday Telegraph’s deputy editor Frank Johnson, who had himself grown up in the East End, told Heffer that he had identified a fascinating social phenomenon. “I said: ‘Yes, he’s Essex man!’” recalled Heffer, “and Frank said: ‘It’s brilliant! Do it, do it!’ So I went away and wrote the piece and it appeared the following Sunday.” Jessica Simpson, 43, bares her VERY toned tummy in a sexy crop top and spandex pants as the mom-of-three enjoys a night out in NYC Love Island's Gemma Owen SPLITS from boxer Prince Naseem Hamed's son Aadam as star confirms she's single again: 'I'm not in a relationship' Essex girl, as a pejorative stereotype in the United Kingdom, applies to a woman viewed as promiscuous and unintelligent, characteristics jocularly attributed to women from the county of Essex. It is applied widely throughout the country and has gained popularity over time, dating from the 1980s and 1990s. [1] Negative stereotype [ edit ]With Ipswich Town and Norwich City having languished outside the Premier League this season with neither team having earned any major trophies for decades, East Anglian soccer teams have been the butt of many jokes around the country for their inability to produce liquid football. However, the region can be proud of producing arguably the world’s best sportswoman in Bury St Edmunds-based Ironman triathlete Chrissie Wellington, who has coasted to victory in the gruelling Kona Ironman Triathlon on no less than four occasions in times that no other woman has ever approached and only a handful of men have beaten. Diss our weird sounding towns. In 1700, a clergyman named James Brome wrote that the county was home to 'Persons of so abject and sordid a Temper' that they seemed 'by conversing continually with the Beasts to have learn'd their Manners'.

were scapegoats, just like Essex girls – receptacles for society’s disgust, and concerns about immorality, impropriety and scandal. The witches share characteristics of the Essex girl: they were of low social status, deemed ‘loose’ (not under the shelter or protection of a man); and legally dumb as they needed a male relative to speak for them in court. And it was alleged in some cases that they used glamour, the spell. So these were women of low status, loose, dumb and glamorous – that sounds like our contemporary stereotype to me.” Why did the Essex girl go halfway to Norway then turn round & come home ? It took her that long to figure out a 14 inch Viking was a TV set. Britain was in perpetual economic turmoil in the 1970s, yet the economy of the south-east flourished in comparison to other regions, in particular the northern towns. People who had grown up in pokey London flats were saving for first homes outside London, in return for a bit more space, a garden and somewhere to park the car. The Conservatives were tapping into a desire that had shaped the history of Essex – people had long been moving east in search of space and a home of their own. And yet, in a sense, the Tories were just following the prevailing societal trends. Home ownership passed 50% in 1970 – not under the Conservatives, but under Labour, the party that built the welfare state.Southend: Top, families enjoy an Rossi Ice Cream on Southend seafront and, above, not a spare inch of space on Three Shells beach at the height of the summer season Travis Kelce 'looks old' and is 'wobbling' for the Chiefs - but it has NOTHING to do with Taylor Swift, says ex-NFL scout John Middlekauff