Hurt People Hurt People: Hope and Healing for Yourself and Your Relationships

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Similarly, trauma responses can cause a person to react with anger and fear on an instinctual level when they feel like they are threatened or in danger. But, again, that requires compassion with firm boundaries as well. It’s not okay to accept abuse or bad behavior because someone else suffered. Suffering is infinite, and you are only one person. The part of this incredible promise that feels the most difficult to me comes from my own human struggle with forgiving. How do I forgive someone who has harmed me, particularly if they do not seem at all interested in accountability for that harm? At times it can even feel like I have been harmed and yet the person harming me, or the institutions that shape that harm, appear to have no awareness of the harm at all. How can I forgive that? Nothing and no one is exempt

There were clashes with riot police as some demonstrators let off flares and fireworks, while others grabbed chairs and stools from outside bars and restaurants.When people get hurt in relationship and do not receive healing from the wounds, they have a logical and defensible tendency to become protective against more pain. A wound that does not receive attention remains sensitive; a person becomes wary of being relationally “cut” again. The younger one is when unattended hurt begins, the more wary they become of a potential recurrence. The wariness that becomes defensiveness becomes common sense to the wounded person—even logical and defensible. But just because it is understandable does not make the consequences to others justifiable. Hurt people hurt people.. That’s how pain patterns gets passed on.. generation after generation after generation.. Break the chain today.. ღ The “hurt people hurt people” quote is a popular saying that refers to the idea that those who have been hurt or traumatized in the past often go on to repeat the same behavior and harm others.

You could be hurting the one you love because you are subconsciously trying to find a way out. Reassess your relationship, decide whether you want to continue, and make sure you are doing everything you can to stop hurting your partner and yourself. People react to pain differently and deal with it differently. This is even truer when it comes to someone who has been emotionally hurt. Sadly, people who are emotionally wounded, find it hard to live with their traumas and continuously seek ways to heal the pain they feel in their souls. And this is where I find my faith leading me. When I seek forgiveness, when I hear the gracious offer of absolution offered in every liturgy, I need to take that in as the first part of a process that includes being honest about my own brokenness, and then changing my behavior. How will I be accountable? How will I participate in spaces and practices that invite repair and restoration, that recognize, as Bryan Stevenson notes, “each of us is more than the worst thing we’ve done”? To hell with these people. They are the reason my life is bad. They are the reason I can’t succeed. It’s not me or my shortcomings. It’s these other people.”Believe it or not, you already have this answer. You’ve heard it a million times before, and for good reason. Communication is vital to every relationship. You need to communicate openly with your partner about your feelings.