A Spell for Chameleon (Magic of Xanth)

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Monsters are not the most unsettling thing Bink gets aroused by in Spell. During his first meeting with Iris, the sorceress changes her appearance numerous times in an attempt to seduce Bink. First she appears as an older woman, then as a voluptuous woman, then as a 14-year-old girl: “very slender, lineless, and innocent.” Bink becomes overwhelmed by the smorgasbord of female flesh laid out before him; it’s a shame Xanth’s pervasive magic doesn’t include Internet porn. Then this happens: Lee Ewing has read a fair number of Piers Anthony’s Xanth novels and he does it creditably. I did occasionally have the impression he was rushing through the reading, but that could be a matter of the publisher trying to save tape space (yes, I believe this edition was originally published on tape) by speeding up the recording and then doing a bit of digital magic to keep Mister Ewing from sounding like the fourth member of Alvin and the Chipmunks (the one who left the group before they made it big), however, I have suffered through much worse examples of that. a small lizard perched on a brown stone. Feeling threatened by the approach of human beings along the path, it metamorphosed into a stingray beetle, then into a stench-puffer, then into a fiery salamander. Poor Bink! Each human Xanth has their own unique magical gift. Bink appears to be one of the few exceptions, with no discernible magical talent. Not only does this place him at aconsiderable disadvantage to his fellow humans, but it will cost him his place in Xanth. Human law mandates exile for those withoutmagic. Bink gets to a town and a guy agrees to help him as long as he'll get some help in return. See, he needs to take care of some unpleasant business.

Then I presume she would have fled him at the outset, had she disliked him--and that he would not have forced her if she trusted him.'" Bink avoids death and very sexy enticement but the result of his audience with Humfrey is equivocal. Humfrey can tell that Bink has atalent and apowerful one at that. What Humfrey cannot work out is the nature of the talent. Whatever the talent is, its nature makes Bink resistant to scryingspells. I think someone has serious issues with women. I just don't understand how anyone can say Piers Anthony himself isn't sexist. Say all you want that he just isn't good at writing women (although that on its own is a sign...); the problem here is that he doesn't think women are people. He clearly has a fixation with rape and possession that's not healthy. Now, don't get me wrong. It's not the fact that this book can't pass the Bechdel test, or that only women are ever shown doing domestic duties. It's not that female characters are typically either beautiful but evil or stupid or else smart but ugly or nagging. It's not statements like this odd bit: "Chameleon, like most girls, had to answer calls of nature frequently, particularly when she was excited" (p. 311). I mean, what? Whatever, Piers Anthony. It's not even the weird prevalence of nudity, especially female nudity. None of those things really do more than annoy me. At most, I'd take off two stars for them. And really, it's often hard to tell if Anthony himself is at all chauvinistic.So she's perfect for the protag because due to ... women burning him? ... he's come to the idea that he can't trust women who are both beautiful and smart. A lot of people have put it this way: in this book, women can be beautiful, smart, or good. Choose two. Despite what people say about the author's sexism, his fondness for puns (a greater crime in some people's eyes) and the juvenile nature of some of the storytelling, this book has many good qualities, most of which reviewers haven't really talked about.

They weren't sure, but were pretty sure they were a teenager. I then sent them that quote, and they basically had the same reaction I had. And then realized that oh, no, it wasn't the Xanth novels they were remembering. It was the Myth Adventures series by Robert Asprin. All of this pain for nothing. Nothing. And I don't deny that some of his conclusions, even though they are wrapped up inside a lighthearted fantasy story, are a bit chauvinistic, but that isn't the point. Whenever I rate a book I try to bear in mind when it was written. That’s to say, what may have been relevant in 1977 (when A Spell For Chameleon was published), may not be relevant today, but should not by default disqualify the book. Or, for example, if the book was written for a younger audience, I should not be rating it down for being immature, because it may be exceptionally suited to its target audience. The book was well received, at any rate, and it won the August Derleth award. Then there’s the curious case of the village rape trial that Bink stumbles across for no real imaginable reason, other than to give the reader a chance to read the word “rape” multiple times in a lighthearted setting. There’s Trent, the dashing magician-in-exile who will intrepidly lead his army into Xanth to save the land from under population (says one of Trent’s soldiers, “He’ll encourage the local gals to marry us, so we can have families.”). And there’s Crombie, one of Bink’s comrades, who just comes right and announces things like, “Women are the curse of mankind.” When challenged—okay, not even really challenged, just curiously questioned—about these utterances by Bink, it comes to light that Crombie “rejected all women because he felt they rejected him.” Bink’s final analysis of his buddy’s reason for loathing all women? “Well, it was a good enough rationale.”So, the first half of the book is undoubtedly silly. So what? In fact, it’s more than silly, it’s often frankly bizarre and most likely best enjoyed with your hallucinogen of choice close at hand.

Xanth is rich in magic and rich in magical creatures, plant and animal, happy to chow down on acareless, powerless human. Bink’s quest becomes that much more difficult when he encounters the beautiful but extraordinarily stupid Wynne, her propensity for wandering into danger compensated for only by her amazingtits.

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Oh no, no, no..... this could not be it! WHY?! Why was this so bad? Oh, god. This review is GONNA BE TOUGH. This book was SO bad, I forgot I even read the thing!

the Sorceress Iris seemed beautiful, but I met others who weren't. Once they get old or married, they--" [...:]"'Women don't have to get ugly when they marry,' Fanchon said. [...:] 'Some start out that way.'" Got that? Married = ugly (applies to women only, of course). Wow. Only a phenomenal series of coincidences had saved his skin. He knew that coincidence was an untrustworthy ally.

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Then take off," the bailiff said. "Remember--no talking outside, or we'll have a real trial, for contempt of court."