The Darker Side of Love: A gripping novel of secrets, lies and betrayal

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RAFIK SCHAMI was born in Damascus in 1946, came to Germany in 1971 and studied chemistry in Heidelberg. Today he is the most successful German-speaking Arabic writer. His novels have been translated into 21 languages and received numerous international awards. He is the author of The Calligrapher’s Secret, Damascus Nights, and Damascus: Taste of a City. As love is as intense an emotion as one gets, it occasionally leads us to make poor choices – choices that are hurtful to the ones we love. Really enjoyed it, not quite as much as the previous two- (Luxury will always be my favourite, I just adored the glamour and insane wealth and indeed 'luxury'.) The two may love each other fully because remember, love isn’t rational, yet not be able to live and deal with each other forever. Un buen libro respecto al que tengo sentimientos encontrados... La historia en sí me ha gustado mucho, y también la forma de narrarlo -muy al estilo árabe, de contar anécdotas y breves historias e ir entretejiendo todo, como esas teselas de las que habla el autor en su nota final. Pero me sobran teselas, algunas historias se han alargado mucho para mi gusto...

Im Grunde genommen handelt die Geschichte von einer verbotenen Liebe zwischen Rana und Farid, die zwei verfeindeten Sippen angehören. Aber die Geschichte ist viel mehr als das!The novel develops through countless doomed affairs and periods of suppression, both individual and collective. In the 'Book Of Laughter', there are beautiful anecdotes about Damascene childhood; in the 'Book Of Hell', a nightmarish portrayal of life in Syria's secret prisons. It involves an extraordinary amount of sex, but this is not the kind of gratuitous or perfunctory copulation prevalent in so many philosophical modern novels - there are no 'Bad Sex Awards' here: the sex in this book is straight-forward and stallion-esque, which only the most tiresome prude would deny is not entirely in keeping with Schami's exploration of passion's extremes: the price for such ecstasy is often certain death. Financial abuse can have serious consequences for both the controller and the victim in a relationship. During counselling sessions, both parties can discuss their financial concerns and come up with a plan for managing their finances in a way that is fair and equitable. This may involve setting up a joint bank account, agreeing on a budget, and dividing household expenses fairly. The abuser may also benefit from learning about healthy financial boundaries and strategies for managing their own spending habits. For the victim, financial abuse can lead to a loss of financial independence and control, which can negatively impact their self-esteem and confidence. Victims of financial abuse may feel trapped and helpless, as they may not have access to funds to leave the relationship or support themselves. This can lead to feelings of anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues.

Unfortunately, financial abuse is often overlooked or misunderstood, and many people do not realise that they are experiencing financial abuse until it has escalated to a dangerous level. Therefore, it is essential to understand the signs of financial abuse and how it can impact both parties in a relationship.Besides, I learned quite much about the history of this country and I believe Rafik Schami is a rather unbiased narrator - of course, most of his main characters are cristian Arabs, but there are Muslims and Jews as well and for me he did a good job in giving a voice to all the different parts of this complex society rather favouring a humanistic approach towards life. Especially women's lot is represented in a way that makes me admire his insight into the female point of view. Schami shows the beauty and the colours of Syria while at the same time pointing out the weaknesses of a patriarcal society in which tolerance and freedom of thought are not guaranteed. It's obvious that Schami's own biography has influenced this novel a lot and that parts of Farid's life is based on Schami's own experiences - like his main character, Schami had to leave Syria for political reasons and started a new life in Germany, writing this extraordinarily beautiful novel in a language not his native one which is quite a miracle to me. Like some other reviewers I was expecting to read descriptions of Damascus and other parts of Syria that would give a true feeling of the area and that was one of the reasons that I got the book. There didn't appear to be much of this, there was hardly anything to describe or give character to the areas it was set in. As the book starts all the couples; Izzy and James, Harriet and Wills and Stella and Jonny are all settled in life. Caroline, James' sister is single and feels on the edge of the group due to her status. The story unfolds and we see that none of the couples are quite as secure as first impressions suggested and secrets and lies test their relationships. Told in chapters covering the key times when the group are bought together such as New Year's Eve the reader is left with gaps, this device moves the story along nicely without becoming bogged down with the minutiae of daily life. I will not have you without the darkness that hides within you. I will not let you have me without the madness that makes me. If our demons cannot dance, neither can we.” ― Nikita Gill Some people don’t work out together. They have conflicting habits or beliefs that make it impossible to cohabitate with the person they love. There isn’t a couple out there that loves every little thing about one another. Sure, they may find certain quirks cute or unique, but they don’t love them; they simply accept them. There are some people who have such habits, tendencies, or thinking patterns that really do make them incompatible with the other person.

They may be poor calls of judgment; lies we told, or things we said. When it comes to love, our past haunts us. We move from relationship to relationship, hauling all that baggage we managed to accumulate in our previous relationship.

Financial abuse can also lead to physical and emotional abuse. In some cases, abusers may use money as a tool of control to coerce their partner into doing things they do not want to do or engaging in sexual activity against their will. This can lead to further trauma and harm to the victim.