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Not Safe For Work: Author of the viral essay 'My boyfriend, a writer, broke up with me because I am a writer'

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I know how it sounds to suggest my boyfriend dumped me because he’s scared I’ll become like Nora Ephron. You’re thinking: that’s what you’re going with? Or maybe: what’s her name? You know the rules of this world. When someone senior tells you how pretty you look, you smile and thank him - and make a mental note never to wear that dress alone with him again. In a simple sense, NSFW comments on how insidious rape culture is and how it’s particularly perpetuated in the workplace, both consciously and unconsciously, by both men and women. The novel places a focus on the complicity of both men and women – but more interestingly, the complicity of women. It’s kind of expected that men will never say anything because they’re ‘protecting their own’ or don’t see it as a problem that affects them – so then is the women’s responsibility to do something because ‘women support women?’ What role do women play in this corrupt system when they turn a blind eye to accusations against their male family members or friends, when they shrug it off because ‘he’s never done anything to me’. But then again, how can women be tasked with fixing a broken, patriarchal system that they didn’t create in the first place? Shouldn’t men be the ones who step forward and use their position to create change? She has an idea of what she wants her life to be but she is just starting to learn that maybe none of that will make her happy. In addition to her work life we see her romantic life and in particular her regular interactions with her mother, who is paying for a lot of the things our narrator can't afford on her small salary, and who constantly demands her time and attention. Her mother in particular is a fascinating character, and a type we have seen often in the last decade, a woman who knows and understands the structures that men use to assault women, who knows how difficult it is to bring charges up at work or to the police, and a woman who will say "Oh Robert didn't do that," when the man involved is a friend. Not Safe for Work follows an assistant in a major Hollywood TV studio in the early 2010s, described as "an ambitious young woman striving to get ahead in a world where a glossy veneer of glamour masks a deeply toxic underbelly".

Deliciously sharp, ridiculously funny, and surprisingly heartfelt . . . I cannot wait to discuss it with everyone I know Coco Mellors, author of Cleopatra and Frankenstein the unnamed protagonist of this debut novel and i share a few things in common. we both grew up in LA, took self defense classes at our competitive all girls schools, and went on to ivy league universities. we both feel inexplicably drawn to LA. our obvious but relatively niche similarities and shared experiences may have ended there, but i developed a genuine attachment to this character throughout the story, easily empathizing with her thoughts and choices. A frank study of the psychological, and at times literal, gymnastics that are required of striving women.' RAVEN LEILANI, bestselling author of Luster We had just moved in together for the first time, in Paris, when he confessed that my keeping a journal made him uncomfortable. People in relationships make all sorts of off-the-cuff comments, and they don’t mean anything, he explained. It made him nervous to think of me remembering or writing down things he said. He joked that if I wrote about him, it would be the end. The compulsively readable novel about a young woman trying to succeed in Hollywood without selling her soul - perfect for fans of Sweetbitter , My Dark Vanessa and Exciting TimesOur heroine, a young Jewish Los Angeles native who has just taken an assistant job at a TV studio, is no naïf. Glittering. A funny, spiky, compulsive story about toxic workplaces, lean-in culture and #MeToo' EVENING STANDARD I struggled to understand what he found so threatening about women expressing their feelings. He used to like that I was a writer. He edited the column I wrote for our college newspaper; he came to a reading for my young adult novel when we were sophomores. I put this book on my TBR simply for the title alone. If you are new here, one of little joys I get out of life is carrying around my own selection of “NSFW” book titles and covers so this one automatically hit the sweet spot simply for the outside. Then the Center for Fiction debut novel nominees were announced and – yay me – I already had this on hold at the library. Unfortunately for this novel, I think it has zero chance at winning thanks to said nominations also including the brilliant Nightwalking, but I thought this was great too.

A frank account of the inherent filthiness of leaning in. A study of the psychological, and at times literal, gymnastics that are required of striving women. Raven Leilaini When whispers start to circle that your office might have 'a bit of a rape problem,' and your close friend confesses her own unsettling encounter, you know there is plenty to gain from staying silent, and all too much to lose through speaking out. Nora Ephron was the patron saint of militarized vulnerability. She refused shame. Take, for example, her Esquire essay about having small breasts. Society said: hate your body, but don’t talk about it. Nora said: you don’t get to have it both ways. We urgently need to develop avenues for conversations about all the behaviour that lives in this grey space. We also need to stop blindly applauding powerful women in Hollywood as if their success is inherently “good for women” or an illustration of the system working in a more egalitarian way. Some of the worst men in Hollywood are women. It’s an ugly truth, and one that’s difficult to discuss in the nuanced way it deserves, but women are often better foot soldiers of the patriarchy than men. Particularly women who have held positions of power for a while. Understandable: they, too, are the product of structural forces. That may explain, but it doesn’t excuse. And a number of them wield their gender as a protective shield against criticism. Nor is she innocent to the power dynamics of the industry, securing her position through nepotism like many of those before her.Here is what has changed in Hollywood since #MeToo: not much. If the bar for tolerable behaviour was on the floor before – no, make that underground – then now, it’s hovering just above floor level. It is widely understood that you are not to grope or make sexual advances on your employees, and that if you do so, you may face consequences. Throwing items in the office, and particularly in the direction of your employees, is now off limits. People previously unaware of the terms “implicit bias” and “microaggressions” have now attended training sessions about them and know that they are bad. They believe themselves to be free of them. You thrive under pressure, and are determined to excel. But there's a dark side to the industry that's about to rear its head. And soon, you must decide your place in it: Raven Leilani, author of Luster (Picador), dubbed it “a frank account of the inherent filthiness of leaning in… a study of the psychological, and at times literal, gymnastics that are required of striving women”. Frank, funny and unputdownable . . . behind the glitter and the justice, everyone is tarnished and compromised - including even our narrator. Kaplan, with her sharp and nuanced eye, sees it all, and tells it brilliantly Claire Messud, New York Times bestselling author of The Woman Upstairs For fans of The Morning Show and My Dark Vanessa , a compulsively readable debut novel about a young woman trying to succeed in Hollywood without selling her soul

Is it my job to tell him “you, too”? If I thank him for his congratulations and leave it at that, am I demonstrating complicity, failing to practice what I preach? But on the other hand, why should the emotional labour of calling him out fall to me?

Not Safe For Work Book review: Playing the Hollywood game

I promised never to publish anything that he was uncomfortable with. I reminded him that I had never written about him because I knew he didn’t want me to – even during the years we weren’t together. P.S. The blurb says that this is a debut work, but it isn't. The author published a previous book in 2007, also set in LA. After reading this one, I may have to buy it. It's YA but it looks like it's on the more mature end of the YA spectrum.

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