How to Excavate a Heart

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I do admittedly feel like I have broken some sort of law by reading a book pitched as “if a Hallmark movie starred sexually frustrated lesbian Jews” and that was originally titled “Winter Break” on a very hot and humid August day, but honestly I’m glad I did because now I can confidently say that you all need to add this to your winter TBRs.

It also contained instances of (past) sexual assault and a controlling/abusive relationship, and that was one of the things that were well done. Frankly, Shani is one of the worst —if not The Worst— protagonists I’ve ever had the misfortune of reading about. Not only is this girl utterly foul to her mother, she’s incredibly selfish, small-minded and pathetic.

How to Excavate a Heart Summary

oh my goodness, such cozy warmth! this book has a perfect heartbreaky romancey holiday flavor, lots of funny cuteness, and plenty of deep coming-of-age stuff. hmm, okay. this is probably pretty solidly in the 3.5 stars camp, for me. overall, i would rec it, but it wasn't quite what i thought it was going to be? i think the 'enemies to lovers' isn't rlly accurate despite the way the main characters meet, it didn't rlly feel like it fits that trope. equally, i don't think this is a romcom. it's not rlly funny, it's def more of a character study/coming of age. a romance≠romcom, and i feel like a lot of marketing (esp with the more mainstream publishers) seem to just slap romcom onto anything with romance. i was also under the impression (based on the characters being freshmen in college) that this was more NA and less YA, so i had to adjust my expecations abt what the book was, a little. i think if those things were a little more upfront in the marketing, then i would have enjoyed it a little more, just bc there were adjustments being made while reading. The Year My Life Went down the toilet is queer, Jewish, and chronically ill--three things I never thought I'd be able to combine in a book. Let me reiterate: Shani, who we’ve been told reveres the field of palaeontology and for whom this internship is a dream-come-true throws priceless artefacts in the trash… Personally, if I were her manager, I would’ve been convicted of murder after that. As someone who had a huge (huge!) palaeontology and dinosaur obsession throughout my life and who did minor studies in the field during my time at university, I could not imagine liking someone so much that I throw fossils —literal million year-old artefacts that have ground-breaking scientific potential— in the bin, even if it were an accident. Full disclosure, close to the end there was a triggering part so I skimmed past that. I had recently read RUMOR GAMES and had to DNF close to the end for a similar reason and just didn't want to do it again. So do be aware of trigger warnings before going into this (the author also provides trigger warnings.)

As this is YA, I do want to bring attention to the trigger warning. It’s there for sexual assault so beware of that before reading this. Stonewall Honor author Jake Maia Arlow delivers a sapphic Jewish twist on the classic Christmas rom-com in a read perfect for fans of Kelly Quindlen and Casey McQuiston.

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Actually, pathetic doesn’t even begin to describe Shani. The reason she is not with her mother for the holiday season (which a major point of conflict throughout the book) is because she is so desperate to follow through on her internship. The book tells us again and again that Shani is ultra, super passionate about palaeontology. That being said, the moment her romance with May begins to develop, Shani stops caring about her internship. It gets so bad and she becomes so distracted by this fledgling romance that throws priceless, scientifically ground-breaking fossils in the bin. now, to the actual story. it was a solid character study/coming of age with a side of romance YA book with some good rep and topics that aren't explored as often, that i've seen at least, in some ficton. namely a spoiler but also a heads up for, cw: sexual assault queer women assaulting other queer women, which is def important to talk abt, it happens, and in a lot of ways, i appreciated how this story showd shani dealing with what happened with sadie and how everyone in her life helped her when they found out.

Add that to the fact that I did not care for May's character at all. She seems rude and insulting to Shani and apparently to everyone else. Her relationship with her dad is sort of magically fast-forward resolved and the conflicts seem a bit artificial because literally all that is needed is communication of any kind. The primary character arc as I saw it was about Shani learning to be her own person, independent of a best friend or girlfriend, but this is glossed over in the resolution as well so I'm not sure what the takeaway was.I'm always less invested in stories where we skip from people antagonistic towards each other to suddenly hanging out and flirting and there's no journey about how we got here. It significantly reduces my investment and enjoyment in a relationship and that's what happened here. We go from Shani's mom nearly mowing down May to May shutting the door on Shani's face to suddenly hanging out at art galleries and 100% falling for each other and I feel like I missed something.