You’re Overthinking It: Find Lifelong Love By Being Your True Self

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Understanding the root causes of self-sabotage, such as fear, shame, and limiting beliefs, is key to overcoming it. Look, you can show interest in a guy, that’s not a bad thing. Somehow women are terrified of showing too much interest for fear they will scare a man away but if a guy really likes you … you showing interest in him will be a good thing! This isn’t going to work against you. I wasn’t only obsessed with him, I was obsessed with her. I needed to know everything about her. Why wasn’t I good enough? And what makes her good enough?

So I go about my day, brushing any awful thoughts aside. He and I were in a long distance relationship for the summer because I was home before starting my senior year of college. While I really loved him, at least I thought it was love at the time, the relationship was unhealthy, codependent, and horribly toxic. I didn’t just love him, I needed him. And he needed me. We were basically everything to one another. We didn’t have much going on outside of the relationship and as a result, it felt like he was a part of me, and not in a good way. He called me later that night acting like everything was normal. I wanted to participate in the charade, but I just had to ask. I know how that song goes, I’ve sung it many times over. When you allow these beliefs you get wired in, you ruin yourself. And you blame him for ruining you but it wasn’t him. It was your reaction to what he did that was your undoing. By embracing the challenges of life as opportunities for growth and transformation, we can climb the mountain of self-discovery and reach new heights of fulfillment and happiness.You barely even know them, but you feel this magnetic pull that you’re powerless against. Some might make the mistake of thinking they’ve found “the one,” that this person is their soulmate or twin flame or whatever you want to call it. Haven’t we always been told that when you meet the right one you know “know”?

This means you keep yourself mentally open to the possibility of other guys and other outcomes. I see far too many women holding themselves hostage essentially in situations where a guy won’t prioritize her or commit in any real way…but she stays and keeps investing in him because she’s decided she loves him and he’s the one for her and her options are to either force this to work… or die alone. Now I hope you can see the foolery here, but it’s hard to see it when you’re in it. Reading The Mountain Is You signals your readiness for change. That said, change without a little bit of help can be hard. So there is an official workbook via Thought Catalog Books that will help you realize many of the lessons in the book in your real life. The workbook offers prompts to guide introspection and navigation through your personal challenges. You can find it here. The high continues as you venture into a relationship and becomes even more intense. You never quite know where you stand with him and you keep overthinking it. The uncertainty keeps you on your toes, constantly on alert for something that looks like a bad sign or an ominous foreshadow. This emotional rollercoaster is as exhausting as it is thrilling. You’re hooked. The worst possible thing that could happen is him leaving. It’s a fear you can’t quite shake no matter how promising the situation looks, a fear that drives everything you say and do.Thoughts are powerful forces and shape our reality, so stop giving so much power to the bad ones! 2. Don’t try to win him over. You’re Overthinking It: How to Find Lifelong Love by Being Your True Self is the ultimate guide to understanding relationships and learning the necessary skills to find and keep a happy, loving, and mutually fulfilling relationship. We talk again later that night but it’s useless. I want him to beg for my forgiveness—I’m ready to forgive before he even asks for it!—but he doesn’t. This is the end. He didn’t just cheat on me, he’s leaving me for her. I don’t think I’ve ever experienced anything more painful in my life, not even childbirth.