I'll Die After Bingo: My unlikely life as a care home assistant

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It’s hard to ignore his informed opinions on the corporatisation of care that puts targets and paperwork ahead of humanity, and his calls to take the sector out of the darkness and face up to the realities of how to deal with an ageing population losing their faculties. But you know ignoring them is precisely what will happen, and there’s the tragedy.

Pope Lonergan spent nearly 10 years caring for the elderly in care homes. In this memoir, he details the humorous, heartbreaking and sometimes hazardous nature of the caring profession. But you can’t blame him for quitting. The last home he worked in had a sign at the entrance reading: “Respect and Love for Everyone.” He thought it was “a good maxim to live by. Especially when you’re trying to show respect for people who are in their autumnal years.” The only problem is that he would read the sign and “then spend the next 14 hours… washing old knobs for minimum wage. So where’s my f---ing respect?” The fixation on profit has been disastrous for the care sector - and even the most trivial and petty acts of insubordination can have a positive impact on a work shift. I don’t care what the company directors say. We won’t be using peanut butter sparingly! I’ll turn lights on when I’m leaving the room! I’ll make sure I hit every corner when transporting food or medicine trolleys! I’ll take up smoking just so I can do it near an oxygen tank! Having said that - my main reason for not wearing the tunic is because it’s tight around my love handles.’ If you are unfamiliar with ‘I’ll Die After Bingo’, this is a hit book from author Pope Lonergan. It is based on his time as a care worker after working in the elderly care sector for 10 years. He is also a comedian and recovering drug addict.Expectation Exec Morwenna Gordon added: “I was completely won over by Pope’s writing. Honest, insightful, empathetic and with laugh out loud moments too. I’m so pleased to be working together to adapt this incredible book for TV.” Pope Lonergan is also incredibly excited stating that he was ‘buzzin’ to be working with Expectation’ and described the company as having a nice, insightful and talented team. He also added that the adaption will be ‘dark, uncompromising, poetic’ as well as extremely funny. Whether he's initiating a coup d'état against new regulations with the residents, or forging a bond with the 98-year old who once called him a fat slut, Pope Lonergan work is infinitely varied. This no-holds-barred account shows what life inside a care home is really like, for both residents and carers. Featuring night-time drama, incontinence pads and the uniquely dark humour of one double-amputee Alzheimer's patient, here you can learn everything you ever wanted to know (and a few things you probably really didn't) about Britain's care system.

Lonergan publishes his book in a week that charity Care England has alerted the public to the fact that UK care home providers face paying up to four times pre-pandemic levels for their insurance, leaving “many” at risk of going out of business. Homes are also struggling to recruit and retain their workers, with a 10th of job vacancies unfilled. Even Lonergan has walked away. He thinks it’s absurd that he’s paid and valued more to stand on stage and tell jokes than he was keeping people alive. Lonergan writes about bodily functions and excretions with the nonchalance of someone who has seen it all before, and there is something very refreshing about his matter-of-fact approach, so at odds with the squeamishness with which British society regards ageing, bodily failures, and death. We are more than our bodies, Lonergan shows, and good care helps people to maintain their dignity when their physical abilities are dwindling. Resident: (Closes eyes). That I'll never be touched again. That I won't be able to get to my heart.

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In addition to funny anecdotes, learn everything you ever wanted to know (and a few things you probably didn’t) about Britain’s care system, and be encouraged to think differently about the value of our elderly and the carers who look after them. Expectation executive producer Morwenna Gordon said: ‘I was completelywon overby Pope’s writing. Honest, insightful, empathetic and with laugh out loud moments too. I’m so pleased to be working together to adapt this incredible book for TV."