Find Your People: Building Deep Community in a Lonely World

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Electoral roll search – Unfortunately, it is a criminal offence to disclose Northern Irish electoral roll records to members of the public. These records may be accessed by elected representatives, holders of elected offices, and law enforcement bodies. Just having that moment again, leaving that door open and maybe they'll meet you there emotionally and maybe they'll say I miss it too. Then you can repair it. Maybe there'll be a little more standoffish and you won't get what you need but I don't think we lose anything by being really honest and vulnerable with people and taking that chance. There were two points that I felt this book was weak. The first was understanding introverts. I agree with a few comments she made about some of the particles being the same, even if it is harder. However, I feel that this book would have been greatly helped if she had an introvert write some notes about how to overcome some of the challenges.

I have hermit tendencies that have been exacerbated by the difficulties of motherhood. I typically won’t be the first to reach out or to invite people over. I am awful at making plans. Seriously awful. Huge flaw. It’s not because i don’t care, I care more than you’ll ever know!! But, if someone else asks me to do something, I am there! If you need me to come help you organize your closet, I’ll be there in ten! Play date tomorrow? Absolutely! For this generation Jennie Allen is the vulnerable voice we need, and with Find Your People she has provided a beacon-illuminated map that is as practical as it is inspiring. Read this and find your people. Read this and find the life you have been hungering and thirsting for. Read this and find Jesus.” —Curt Thompson, MD, author of The Soul of Desire and The Soul of Shame Here are some steps to finding those people who will love, support, challenge, and accept you: 1. Do what you like to do. The New York Times bestselling author of Get Out of Your Head offers practical solutions for creating true community, the kind that's crucial to our mental and spiritual health. We don't want to give up on our friendships and we don't see friendship breakups in media. We don't show when a friend is a little bit crappy and makes you feel bad and you have this toxic dynamic. We don't show that because it's not fun to watch and it's not fun to live. If all we see is this really idyllic, we always get along. If we don't, there's only like one episode throughout six seasons where we'll talk about it. Then we're sitting there thinking, why don't I have this? Why doesn't it look right?I grabbed my friend that studied in France with me, and we went to this happy hour and we ended up making a group of friends that we're still with for 20 years since because of that posting. It's hard to do but I also wanted to emphasize that even in college, we try to emphasize with our kids. My daughter is in college, that, oh, you're going to make the best friends of your life there. Which doesn't always happen. I think we have to be careful about that too if everyone thinks they have their group of friends and you don't. How do you feel? There's two parts of that story. There was an odd sense of people always keeping me at arms’ length. For several years, I decided that there was something wrong with me, which was why they didn’t seem to truly accept me.

With those people, you don't have to have an exit interview. You don't have to say I'm leaving now. With those people, I would absolutely encourage you to just walk away because I know for me, it's so easy to say, I'm going to sit them down one final time and say I don't want to do this, but I'm not getting what I need and blah, blah, blah. Then I had to realize for myself, no, because what is that really? That's not communication anymore? That's continuing to ask them to change. They're not going to change. You can't keep begging for somebody to treat you well. Alison: My guest is Lane Moore. The name of the book is You Will Find Your People: How to Make Meaningful Friendships as an Adult. Listeners, we want to get you in on this conversation. Have you made a new friend recently? Fast forward. As I read this I absolutely loved the message of building your community. About getting together more with friends. About building your relationships. But then it made me really panic. O my gosh I am an absolutely terrible friend! I have so many terrible flaws. How does my best friend even like me?! I have to immediately text her and apologize for being terrible! Also known as your vibe, your attitude, your presence, your spirit, your spark. It’s true that “your vibe attracts your tribe.” Energy truly is everything when it comes to showing up in a relationship. Negative energy attracts negative energy. Positive energy attracts positive energy. It doesn’t matter if you do it for work or do it for play, but do what you like to do. Sports, hobbies, hiking alone, travel, reading, collecting cigars, whatever it is, do it. You don’t even have to be super passionate about it, but if you enjoy it, do it.Here are some steps to take to find your people, your tribe to genuinely connect with others and belong. Know Yourself