Do Hard Things: Why We Get Resilience Wrong and the Surprising Science of Real Toughness

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When we satisfy basic needs, we create an environment where people play to win, instead of playing not to lose. On the other hand, if we see the stressor as an opportunity for growth or gain, as something that is difficult but that we can handle, we’re more likely to experience a challenge response. I'd be happy if more coaches (and teachers and parents) read this one, and I'm likely to go back through at least my highlights if not a full re-read, especially of the first 3/4 or so.

I’ve always subscribed to this type of mentality, and I believe that having an easy life just leaves us feeling unfulfilled, contrary to our preconceived theories.I have been a fan of Steve Magness' perspective on Twitter for a long time and respect how he spoke out against Alberto Salazar and left Nike back when that scandal was going down. In one study of over 1,200 parents, authoritarian parenting was linked to a much higher rate of child misbehavior. to create high output (defined loosely) individuals and teams, you have to pair high expectations with nurture and support. It shows how traditional markers of toughness, like putting on a brave face and pushing past pain, can actually hinder physical and mental performance outcomes in the long term. I use "yelling" in the colloquial sense here – talking down to someone regardless of volume; you can berate or chastise someone, in a low tone of voice, and be yelling.

The subtitle of this book is “Why We Get Resilience Wrong and the Surprising Science of Real Toughness”. This book runs through a lot of topics around toughness and busts the myth of suppressing and ignoring negative emotions and tough situations. The best critique I've come across of why "self-esteem culture"/empty praise doesn't produce results.

But if these superficial goals don’t resonate with your actual desires, you’re unlikely to meet them. Satisfying our basic needs is the fuel that allows us to put to work all of the tools we’ve developed to be tough. Magness has served as a consultant on mental skills development for professional sports teams, including some of the top teams in the NBA. The title suggested that the author would be discussing both how people get resilience wrong, and the ‘surprising science’ of real toughness. Reviewing mistakes, working on weaknesses, telling yourself “Can’t hit the slider, so watch for it” backfires if you are too close to action.

Do Hard Things is one of those books that you read and think "Wow that was amazing, I learned so much". Both Apple and Google state that they ensure that only users who have actually downloaded the app can submit a review. There are lots of additional approaches (Buddhism for example) that readers may want to explore in addition to the helpful ideas here. Being honest with yourself is what will allow you to pursue your goals relentlessly, which will improve your endurance and performance over time. Below, Steve shares 5 key insights from his new book, Do Hard Things: Why We Get Resilience Wrong and the Surprising Science of Real Toughness.

This approach works from a life improvement perspective but may not be ideal from book review perspective, as my reviews can get colored by what I can extract from and incorporate from the book. When a team of organizational psychologists studied the NBA, they found that a coach’s behavior in a single season influenced their performance for the rest of their career. This book loses a tiny bit of steam at the end, as Magness turns to more general ideas and less specific actions.