I looked at him with a grin. “Sure, I remember. A double screwdriver and a French Dip, right?” He looked at me, did a double-take when he saw who I was, then got up and left. One universally loved story is by renowned writer O. Henry and called The Gift of the Magi. The story is about a young couple who sacrifice for each other to buy Christmas gifts. They end up exchanging gifts that are no longer usable because of the sacrifices they made to buy them. An updated version of this story called Sappy Modern Love Story is available as part of the 500 Ironic Stories collection. A teacher was wrapping up class, and started talking about tomorrow's final exam. He said there would be no excuses for not showing up tomorrow, barring a dire medical condition or an immediate family member's death. One smart ass, male student said, "What about extreme sexual exhaustion?", and the whole classroom burst into laughter. I worked at a private club, once. One guy, in his mid-20s, came in with the rest of his family-about 10 people. Despite his young age, he was obviously taking up alcoholism as a hobby and he wasn’t a nice drunk, either. In fact, I’d waited on him previously, and he was a pretty insufferable piece of shit.

Naturally, she’s keen to apply all the techniques she’s learned in her teacher training, and in particular, she’s keen to use what she’s learned in her psychology class. The mom's response: "Haha! Well, that's just how kids are, you know. You'll understand once you decide to finally grow up and have some." I was with men, women, men and women at the same time, with cross-dressers, and have cross dressed myself. Scientists say the average size of the male penis has gone down to 5 inches. This just shows how big the Chinese population is getting. I know how hooked kids get on the Horrid Henry books and I love their enthusiasm!' she says. 'But even Horrid Henry fans need to OCCASIONALLY read something else, and I know they would also adore Steven Butler's The Nothing To See Here Hotel, about a secret holiday resort for magical creatures. 'Henry fans will love the riotous humour, fantastic characters, and spiralling madness as the hotel copes with the arrival of the guest from hell, a goblin prince with a dark secret.

My friend of 30 years saw no problem with any of this behavior, married her, and I've not heard from him in a year nor do I wish to. I saw him in the supermarket with his now pregnant wife - and slipped out. I assume at some point she will murder him. The other mom and her kids left pretty much immediately, but when the others left, my bestie catches my eye and she has this huge Squints Palledorous smirk (The Sandlot) on her face like "Yeah! Mission accomplished!" Also he had the funniest reason to need to crash. Dude lived on a sailboat, but somebody stole his rowboat that day, so how could I say no to "I'm too drunk to swim home." We were having a party at my house. It was weird as f**k to begin with because my dad was having a hard time choosing between two women. He'd date one for a little while, then break up to date the other one for a little while, then realize he really loved the first one. It was a mess.

My cousin. All through public school, she was a snob who looked down on everyone. She was super stylish and struggled academically.In a panic, I threw a blanket — or something — over my girlfriend, grabbed my pants and tried to pull them on as I headed for the door to keep it from opening. I got to the door with my pants just above my knees when the door opened,” he recalls. “Standing in the hall was this sweet young freshman girl with her parents bringing her to her new dorm room! The looks on their faces were priceless. I asked them to give us a few minutes — I mean, what choice did they have?” 3. Whipped cream surprise Three hungry lions wander across the Serengeti National Park in search of food when they stumble upon an old oil lamp. It's not a huge surprise - there's so much to make Horrid Henryappealing, and these are often the first books children actually enjoy reading to themselves. What makes them so great?

After the laughter had subsided, the teacher glared at the student, and said, "Not an excuse, you can use your other hand to write." A: By the time you're finished with the breast and thighs, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.When I brought the food out, the little girl said, “Thank you.” The mother responded, “You don’t have to thank her honey, that’s her job.” 2. She complained about… what?!?! It was 1969 and Dana was a senior at UCLA. “My girlfriend and I were looking for a place to make ‘nookie’ since my roommate was in my room studying. It was a few days before classes started and the room next door to her room was still vacant, so we went in there and proceeded,” Dana explains.

This is an outrageously funny series featuring the most quirky, eccentric characters that are bound to delight children who love gloriously silly details and horrible baddies,' she said. 'Hilariously illustrated, they really are marvellous, madcap adventures.' Your suggestions I am a waiter in a restaurant in a town in Spain that gets a few tourists. Our restaurant is in a small alleyway (medieval town = lots of thin alleyways!) with al-fresco dining running its length. Apparently, women need to feel loved to have sex and men need to have sex to feel loved, so the basic act of continuing the species requires a lie from one of you.” – Billy Connolly Anyway, he invited them both to our house that night and they both brought their kids, who were all around my age. There were 6 of us kids in all.year old girl, “Don’t talk to me!” Me, “Why not?” girl, “Because I hate white people.” 7. This from the OWNER of the restaurant. Try another 'bad boy' - Just William by Richmal Crompton. After all, if that goes down well, there are 39 books in the series!