Juices run freely at breakfast with Tiffany; another woman enjoys a knickerless ride on public transport; a student experiences an oral examination by the professor of poetry; a housewife joins Club Ped in a foot-fetish fantasy; another woman sleeps her way across America with Kerouac. rather than exploring what their partner is attracted to or what they might do to negotiate some mutual ground. Palm trees swayed gently around us, and the setting sun painted the clear turquoise waters in hues of orange and pink. In the third year of their relationship she had a significant dream which resolved the deeper issue of her wanting.

In this process the mode of “just being” emerges and has a restorative effect on the human psyche and body. Because we grow up in a culture that has an underlying shame and naiveté about sex, we are too often lacking the skill and the courage to talk openly about it. Liberal (democratic) discourses are emancipatory and tend to enhance the agency of the subject and democratize intimate relationships.Priority is ascribed to intersubjectivity and gender fluidity, not to genitality and sex differences. These choices are made as part of an awareness of the re/productive power of knowledge and many strands of thinking, which are beyond the scope of this paper.

g., masturbatory self-exploration) are shame and guilt, linked to the fear/anxiety of losing a connection with a significant person.The other is not reduced to a narcissistic projective fantasy and nor are they used as an instrumental object (typical of predatory discourse) ( Barša, 2002; Lichtenberg, 2008). After getting in touch with her active, initiative, aggressive male part she finds it easier to express her desire through her body. The traditional respectful discourse or “have-hold” discourse ( Hollway, 1984) is mostly to be found in scientific discourses on sexuality. The main focus is on the emerging psychodynamic understanding of erotic desire as a cultivated way of experiencing and expressing intersubjective embodied desire. I examine such models in relation to a specific paraphilic interest: men's sexual excitement toward short hair on men.